Better Living Through Chemical Altering of the Mind
As I have stated in previous posts I take medication and the list presently is:
An anti-depressant: Tofranil (btw, over the course of 20 years I have been on every anti-depressant that is presently manufactured; I find that I respond only to tricyclic anti-depressants as opposed to SSRI's which provide no relief at all).
An ADHD medication: Adderal (feeling no great benefit from it, at least at the present dosage).
An anti-psychotic (however in my case is just to help me be more calm since I don't hear voices in my head. The only voice I hear is my own and that does enough damage): Risperdal.
Sometimes I do seriously wonder about the effectiveness of these medicines. Case in point: my doctor gave me new prescriptions about 2 or 3 weeks ago for the medications so that when they run out I can get more; I already lost them. I lose everything. I never can really keep myself organized yet the ADHD medication is supposed to help me focus my thoughts and be able to concentrate. I would have to say (with just a touch of sarcasm) it's doing a bang up job! The worst part is, I can't help how I am. I already can imagine from most readers who do not suffer from disorganization that their response would be, "You can help it. You just have to be organized." My response is, "So can a cancer patient just use his mind to make his cancer go away? If they can, my God you discovered the cure to cancer!" I do believe that things can and are accomplished by setting one's mind to the task at hand. There are of course exceptions to the rule, as there are always exceptions to every rule. I have set my mind to winning the lottery and I have yet to win. Just because one set's their mind to something doesn't always mean it will happen. It's a start but it's not a guarantee. There are no guarantees in life except one: one day your life will end. That is the only thing you can guarantee on.
I have a fear of failure combined with a fear of success. This revelation came to me over the holiday week-end. I spend most of my time analyzing my life (past, present, and future. Yes, I already picture what my future is, and it is not pretty) and all the many millions of mistakes I have made and mistakes that were made for me by God or I suppose fate, as it were. I should give a shout out of thanks to God for given me depression, lack of self confidence, etc. (touch of sarcasm again). I mean after all without the ailments I might have actually been a success and where would that have gotten me (even more sarcasm)? Having a fear of success mixed with a fear of failure kind of "locks up" my mind like the way a computer locks up when too many programs are working at the same time. After all the brain is an extremely sophisticated computer. I believe in time, man- kind will create artificial intelligence although I see it as a potential for disaster. Anytime man tries to play God, big mistake (which is what brought us killer bees). It will still happen. It's inevitable, like the invention of nuclear weapons. The same goes for cloning humans.
As I see it, mankind tends to learn things the hardway. It's human nature, we all learn by mistakes. When mankind does eventually invent artificial intelligence and clones humans, they will turn on us and there will probably be a war of some kind. The reason for this is because of control. How do you control something that you create that has intelligence? You could limit it's free will, but not with a human being. Also with technology there are always gliches that crop up. So even if you create an artificially intelligent machine, most likely it will still want control of itself and, to be honest, it has a right to. Anything with intelligence has a right to freedom and self guidance. That is why slavery was abolished (at least in civilized nations). To enslave an intelligent being, albeit artificially intelligent being, would still be wrong.
An anti-depressant: Tofranil (btw, over the course of 20 years I have been on every anti-depressant that is presently manufactured; I find that I respond only to tricyclic anti-depressants as opposed to SSRI's which provide no relief at all).
An ADHD medication: Adderal (feeling no great benefit from it, at least at the present dosage).
An anti-psychotic (however in my case is just to help me be more calm since I don't hear voices in my head. The only voice I hear is my own and that does enough damage): Risperdal.
Sometimes I do seriously wonder about the effectiveness of these medicines. Case in point: my doctor gave me new prescriptions about 2 or 3 weeks ago for the medications so that when they run out I can get more; I already lost them. I lose everything. I never can really keep myself organized yet the ADHD medication is supposed to help me focus my thoughts and be able to concentrate. I would have to say (with just a touch of sarcasm) it's doing a bang up job! The worst part is, I can't help how I am. I already can imagine from most readers who do not suffer from disorganization that their response would be, "You can help it. You just have to be organized." My response is, "So can a cancer patient just use his mind to make his cancer go away? If they can, my God you discovered the cure to cancer!" I do believe that things can and are accomplished by setting one's mind to the task at hand. There are of course exceptions to the rule, as there are always exceptions to every rule. I have set my mind to winning the lottery and I have yet to win. Just because one set's their mind to something doesn't always mean it will happen. It's a start but it's not a guarantee. There are no guarantees in life except one: one day your life will end. That is the only thing you can guarantee on.
I have a fear of failure combined with a fear of success. This revelation came to me over the holiday week-end. I spend most of my time analyzing my life (past, present, and future. Yes, I already picture what my future is, and it is not pretty) and all the many millions of mistakes I have made and mistakes that were made for me by God or I suppose fate, as it were. I should give a shout out of thanks to God for given me depression, lack of self confidence, etc. (touch of sarcasm again). I mean after all without the ailments I might have actually been a success and where would that have gotten me (even more sarcasm)? Having a fear of success mixed with a fear of failure kind of "locks up" my mind like the way a computer locks up when too many programs are working at the same time. After all the brain is an extremely sophisticated computer. I believe in time, man- kind will create artificial intelligence although I see it as a potential for disaster. Anytime man tries to play God, big mistake (which is what brought us killer bees). It will still happen. It's inevitable, like the invention of nuclear weapons. The same goes for cloning humans.
As I see it, mankind tends to learn things the hardway. It's human nature, we all learn by mistakes. When mankind does eventually invent artificial intelligence and clones humans, they will turn on us and there will probably be a war of some kind. The reason for this is because of control. How do you control something that you create that has intelligence? You could limit it's free will, but not with a human being. Also with technology there are always gliches that crop up. So even if you create an artificially intelligent machine, most likely it will still want control of itself and, to be honest, it has a right to. Anything with intelligence has a right to freedom and self guidance. That is why slavery was abolished (at least in civilized nations). To enslave an intelligent being, albeit artificially intelligent being, would still be wrong.
posted by Conundrum of My Mind at 5/30/2006 07:19:00 AM
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