Flirting With Disaster (Falling Into the Cracks Yet Again)
In the late 90's I was living on my own, trying to make it in the big world. Without much of a direction to go in, it isn't easy. Some might be wondering, "Aren't there services to assist people like yourself"? Sure, and I was working with them but there was not much they could do (unless I wanted a job sweeping up or digging ditches for low wages, which is all I could expect). One such department called "Supportive Employment" in New Brunswick, NJ (a part of "The Division of Vocational Rehabilitation") places people with mental illness or emotional problems into jobs, and they offer a counselor to work with the person when stressful situations arise (So that you don't just walk off the job). I worked with a great counselor, Eric. Him and I really connected (I also considered him my friend) but we just hit too many road blocks to be successful at finding me a "decent" position at a "fair" wage.
The problem wasn't Eric's abilities. The problem was the department's policies which he had to abide by, such as the fact that they have to let the possible employer know what "Supportive Employment" is and what they do. Big mistake. I realize honesty is the best policy but not when you are trying to find a job for people who have mental illness, and their job history is rather spotty to say the least. Now I am finding that there are alot of people out there who recognize mental illness and can accept it, but when it comes to prospective employers that's completely different. Even if it is just a minor disorder and the person looks completely "normal" (eg, well groomed, no drool running down their face, etc.) it is still not going to be accepted by the employer. The simple reason: reliability, and to a large degree prejudice. The employer's feeling is that they have a business to run and do not want to run the risk that the person they hire with this disability will not show up or may show up in the beginning and then later on stop showing up. Of course this is against the law, but try and prove it.
My belief was that "Supportive Employment" was going to send me to school and obtain some skills, while I worked at night. So I managed to get hired by UPS for the Christmas holiday working in the warehouse in Edison, NJ from 9pm to 3am (big mistake. Why? Because it really sucked). The work was boring (very repetitive), a few of the supervisors were royal a**holes, no sympathy or "easing in" for new employees, and basically the company does not give a crap about it's employees. If you come late even once, you are fired. I was never late I can proudly say but I couldn't stand either of the two areas they put me in. The first area was truck trailer loading; the big 18 wheelers. My first night they put me in one all by myself. I realize it's not rocket science but it does seem counter productive to have brand new employees (a trainee) all on their own. If an airline used the same logic with commercial airline pilots, you can be rest assured that is one flight I'm not going on.
I realize that it all comes down to dollars and cents. They want to maximize profit and minimize spending. They also figure the person working there really wants the job so they will do anything and everything to keep it. Not so with me. I was also receiving disability for depression so if I lost this job I could honestly care less. I did care about people's packages, however. We were informed to put to the side any opened package that is leaking it's contents. I also found that I was the only one who practiced what we were told to do. The general attitude was no one wanted to be bothered with the broken packages and a lot of damaged and even open packages would just get shipped with all the other packages. Packages were not handled with care either. The packages are stuffed, punched, kicked, and anything else you can do to a package. If you ship UPS, be aware of this. I would assume FedEx is no better. The best you can do is use a lot of bubble wrap inside when you pack your item/s for shipping (and a little prayer never hurts).
I eventually had enough of this (and the insults, yes they insult you too) so one night I just didn't show up. I had called my girlfriend and I told her that I didn't feel like going and she said, "Then don't go", so I didn't. I did try to call the one manager, I think his name was Tom (he was pretty cool, the other manager Steve was an a**hole), and left a message to let him know it wasn't working out. I managed to last till around Christmas and tried to find something else I could do, with the understanding that I would be getting some kind of "rehabilitation" in the beginning of the next year. I started looking around at some area schools and found a program at Middlesex County College for graphic design. I liked using computers on my own and showed Eric some little projects I did creating inserts for audio tapes just using MS Word. He thought they were quite impressive and said that he could the department to purchase graphic design software such as Adobe Photoshop and Quark Express.
These software packages are quite expensive so I appreciated the department buying the software for me. The hope being that if I get familiar with the software I could get a graphic design job. The problem, learning this software on my own was proving to be rather difficult and although now I am quite proficient in Photoshop (I never did bother learning Quark Express), it took me at least a year to get teach myself just the basics. I would even go so far to say that there are probably some functions of Photoshop I still have yet to explore. My interest in graphic design was also beginning to wane, mainly because most of the jobs I researched wanted the prospective employee to have a few years experience and a portfolio which of course I didn't have. It was frustrating for myself and Eric as well.
We decide to fall back on the skills that I was immediately more proficient in, which added up to administrative assistant. Some of these positions can pay quite well and I knew that being an excellent assistant would be a piece of cake for me. Even though I had the computer proficiency, I did not have very much experience (6 months). I thought how ridiculous this requirement is when all you really need is a few months on the job to get the job down. Afterall, all you have to know is how to use a phone and use MS Office software and perhaps Lotus Notes (MS Project doesn't hurt). If you know how to do those things well, then you too can be an administrative assistant. Oh, but I did almost forget you need to be able to read, write, and able to speak proficiently. How could I forget those requirements?
I thought to myself, hypothetically speaking of course, if Eric was willing I could have him act as a former employer and put on my resume that I worked for him for a year or maybe even a few years. This would help me out tremendously. Unfortunately, he didn't find this idea acceptable but only because his hands were tied by the department's policies. I understood, I wasn't pleased by this, but I understood. I also knew that creating a resume with my real job history was not going to open ANY doors for me. Unfortunately, I was correct. Sometimes I really hate it when I am right. Eric and I had hit the end of the line. He tried the best he could and we got no where. Mind you, I still could've gotten a job sweeping up or picking up dog doo for minimum wage but I don't think anyone out there blames me for not wanting to accept these kinds of jobs when I have so much more potential.
By this time it was 2000 and I had been working with the "Supportive Employment" program for about two years. I also had technically moved out of the area (since my crazy roommate Emily "etrag" and I had gone separate ways, thank the Lord) and Eric was working with me because we had also become friends. He referred me to the "Division of Vocational Rehabilitation" (DVR) in Somerville, NJ to work with a counselor Tadd Maffucci. This dude was nice but he was really clueless, and a bit of a dipsh*t. One thing that particularly pissed me off about him was that he made a comment to me (and a rather rude one at that) about how I gave up with college. I told him I was there for seven years and that he has no right to comment about anything that happened then because he wasn't there. He didn't know me then or what I went through. I really hate it when people make a judgement, and they don't know all the facts. They make a judgement based on the faulty logic of: Of course, I am just using that statement to illustrate a point which is that just because a lot of people can do something it doesn't mean everyone should or should be able to, and that if some do not or can not that they are inferior to the ones that can.
The Somerville branch of the "Division of Vocational Rehabilitation" decided they couldn't help me so once again I fell into the cracks. I didn't know what I was going to do at this point so I decided to enroll in web development certificate program at Raritan Valley Community College and I would pay for it. I had no choice. I wanted to get some formalized training in web development and this was going to be my only way.
I do admit I didn't really feel like wasting my time (and money since it was my disability money) with the other courses that the school required that didn't really pertain to web development. The ones I did take, I aced. Like my Multimedia class and all my Web Development courses. After those were done I didn't feel like it was worth getting the certificate. I didn't think it would necessarily open any doors of employment but the main reason was because I wanted some kind of training that would quickly get me fully trained in a couple of months not years. That was the main reason I didn't continue. I was already 30 years old and wasn't getting any younger. The other classes were classes that the school throws in to make it into a "certificate program" and are not really needed to know how to do web design or development.
I started working at a very well known pharmaceutical company in the Records Department. My job was to enter data into the company's records database. They even had top secret documents stored there. I got the job through Kelly Services (yep, the temp agency once again). It was only part-time and I was only paid 10 an hour but at least it was something. Plus I had fun there like you wouldn't believe. My supervisor and I got to be really good friends. He is much older but such a great guy. He is a musician and I built a web site for him too. We would goof off a lot and download mp3's using peer to peer software. I even downloaded some great software. It was a lot of fun. Even my supervisor's supervisor was really nice and we all enjoyed each other's company. We all still keep in touch with each other too.
While working there 3 days a week, I heard about a program at Fairleigh-Dickinson University's "Webmaster Skills Certificate" program. It was for three months during the summer and you would learn the basics of web server (Cold Fusion) and web development like html and multimedia like Flash. It cost $800 dollars and of course I had to cover the cost. I thought it couldn't hurt. I wasn't sure if it would help. I learned some things and the web site I created on Fairleigh-Dickinson's server even got an award. If anything it gives me a minor feather in my cap.
While doing all of this, I thought back about the plan I had mentioned to Eric. I thought if Eric wasn't willing to assist me in my "little white lies", perhaps some of my friends might be willing to. So I asked them, and they were more than willing to help me out. Stage one of my plan was in motion, but something was missing. Sure a great job history is good but the piece de resistance was a degree. The next stage that I was about to set in motion some might consider unethical, while some might find it a brilliant solution.
The problem wasn't Eric's abilities. The problem was the department's policies which he had to abide by, such as the fact that they have to let the possible employer know what "Supportive Employment" is and what they do. Big mistake. I realize honesty is the best policy but not when you are trying to find a job for people who have mental illness, and their job history is rather spotty to say the least. Now I am finding that there are alot of people out there who recognize mental illness and can accept it, but when it comes to prospective employers that's completely different. Even if it is just a minor disorder and the person looks completely "normal" (eg, well groomed, no drool running down their face, etc.) it is still not going to be accepted by the employer. The simple reason: reliability, and to a large degree prejudice. The employer's feeling is that they have a business to run and do not want to run the risk that the person they hire with this disability will not show up or may show up in the beginning and then later on stop showing up. Of course this is against the law, but try and prove it.
My belief was that "Supportive Employment" was going to send me to school and obtain some skills, while I worked at night. So I managed to get hired by UPS for the Christmas holiday working in the warehouse in Edison, NJ from 9pm to 3am (big mistake. Why? Because it really sucked). The work was boring (very repetitive), a few of the supervisors were royal a**holes, no sympathy or "easing in" for new employees, and basically the company does not give a crap about it's employees. If you come late even once, you are fired. I was never late I can proudly say but I couldn't stand either of the two areas they put me in. The first area was truck trailer loading; the big 18 wheelers. My first night they put me in one all by myself. I realize it's not rocket science but it does seem counter productive to have brand new employees (a trainee) all on their own. If an airline used the same logic with commercial airline pilots, you can be rest assured that is one flight I'm not going on.
I realize that it all comes down to dollars and cents. They want to maximize profit and minimize spending. They also figure the person working there really wants the job so they will do anything and everything to keep it. Not so with me. I was also receiving disability for depression so if I lost this job I could honestly care less. I did care about people's packages, however. We were informed to put to the side any opened package that is leaking it's contents. I also found that I was the only one who practiced what we were told to do. The general attitude was no one wanted to be bothered with the broken packages and a lot of damaged and even open packages would just get shipped with all the other packages. Packages were not handled with care either. The packages are stuffed, punched, kicked, and anything else you can do to a package. If you ship UPS, be aware of this. I would assume FedEx is no better. The best you can do is use a lot of bubble wrap inside when you pack your item/s for shipping (and a little prayer never hurts).
I eventually had enough of this (and the insults, yes they insult you too) so one night I just didn't show up. I had called my girlfriend and I told her that I didn't feel like going and she said, "Then don't go", so I didn't. I did try to call the one manager, I think his name was Tom (he was pretty cool, the other manager Steve was an a**hole), and left a message to let him know it wasn't working out. I managed to last till around Christmas and tried to find something else I could do, with the understanding that I would be getting some kind of "rehabilitation" in the beginning of the next year. I started looking around at some area schools and found a program at Middlesex County College for graphic design. I liked using computers on my own and showed Eric some little projects I did creating inserts for audio tapes just using MS Word. He thought they were quite impressive and said that he could the department to purchase graphic design software such as Adobe Photoshop and Quark Express.
These software packages are quite expensive so I appreciated the department buying the software for me. The hope being that if I get familiar with the software I could get a graphic design job. The problem, learning this software on my own was proving to be rather difficult and although now I am quite proficient in Photoshop (I never did bother learning Quark Express), it took me at least a year to get teach myself just the basics. I would even go so far to say that there are probably some functions of Photoshop I still have yet to explore. My interest in graphic design was also beginning to wane, mainly because most of the jobs I researched wanted the prospective employee to have a few years experience and a portfolio which of course I didn't have. It was frustrating for myself and Eric as well.
We decide to fall back on the skills that I was immediately more proficient in, which added up to administrative assistant. Some of these positions can pay quite well and I knew that being an excellent assistant would be a piece of cake for me. Even though I had the computer proficiency, I did not have very much experience (6 months). I thought how ridiculous this requirement is when all you really need is a few months on the job to get the job down. Afterall, all you have to know is how to use a phone and use MS Office software and perhaps Lotus Notes (MS Project doesn't hurt). If you know how to do those things well, then you too can be an administrative assistant. Oh, but I did almost forget you need to be able to read, write, and able to speak proficiently. How could I forget those requirements?
I thought to myself, hypothetically speaking of course, if Eric was willing I could have him act as a former employer and put on my resume that I worked for him for a year or maybe even a few years. This would help me out tremendously. Unfortunately, he didn't find this idea acceptable but only because his hands were tied by the department's policies. I understood, I wasn't pleased by this, but I understood. I also knew that creating a resume with my real job history was not going to open ANY doors for me. Unfortunately, I was correct. Sometimes I really hate it when I am right. Eric and I had hit the end of the line. He tried the best he could and we got no where. Mind you, I still could've gotten a job sweeping up or picking up dog doo for minimum wage but I don't think anyone out there blames me for not wanting to accept these kinds of jobs when I have so much more potential.
By this time it was 2000 and I had been working with the "Supportive Employment" program for about two years. I also had technically moved out of the area (since my crazy roommate Emily "etrag" and I had gone separate ways, thank the Lord) and Eric was working with me because we had also become friends. He referred me to the "Division of Vocational Rehabilitation" (DVR) in Somerville, NJ to work with a counselor Tadd Maffucci. This dude was nice but he was really clueless, and a bit of a dipsh*t. One thing that particularly pissed me off about him was that he made a comment to me (and a rather rude one at that) about how I gave up with college. I told him I was there for seven years and that he has no right to comment about anything that happened then because he wasn't there. He didn't know me then or what I went through. I really hate it when people make a judgement, and they don't know all the facts. They make a judgement based on the faulty logic of:
"If a lot of people can do something, then everyone should be able to"
If we go by this kind of logic, then I guess it would make sense for me to say:
"Since over 1000 people (which is a lot) have climbed Mount Everest, then everyone should be able to"
The Somerville branch of the "Division of Vocational Rehabilitation" decided they couldn't help me so once again I fell into the cracks. I didn't know what I was going to do at this point so I decided to enroll in web development certificate program at Raritan Valley Community College and I would pay for it. I had no choice. I wanted to get some formalized training in web development and this was going to be my only way.
I do admit I didn't really feel like wasting my time (and money since it was my disability money) with the other courses that the school required that didn't really pertain to web development. The ones I did take, I aced. Like my Multimedia class and all my Web Development courses. After those were done I didn't feel like it was worth getting the certificate. I didn't think it would necessarily open any doors of employment but the main reason was because I wanted some kind of training that would quickly get me fully trained in a couple of months not years. That was the main reason I didn't continue. I was already 30 years old and wasn't getting any younger. The other classes were classes that the school throws in to make it into a "certificate program" and are not really needed to know how to do web design or development.
I started working at a very well known pharmaceutical company in the Records Department. My job was to enter data into the company's records database. They even had top secret documents stored there. I got the job through Kelly Services (yep, the temp agency once again). It was only part-time and I was only paid 10 an hour but at least it was something. Plus I had fun there like you wouldn't believe. My supervisor and I got to be really good friends. He is much older but such a great guy. He is a musician and I built a web site for him too. We would goof off a lot and download mp3's using peer to peer software. I even downloaded some great software. It was a lot of fun. Even my supervisor's supervisor was really nice and we all enjoyed each other's company. We all still keep in touch with each other too.
While working there 3 days a week, I heard about a program at Fairleigh-Dickinson University's "Webmaster Skills Certificate" program. It was for three months during the summer and you would learn the basics of web server (Cold Fusion) and web development like html and multimedia like Flash. It cost $800 dollars and of course I had to cover the cost. I thought it couldn't hurt. I wasn't sure if it would help. I learned some things and the web site I created on Fairleigh-Dickinson's server even got an award. If anything it gives me a minor feather in my cap.
While doing all of this, I thought back about the plan I had mentioned to Eric. I thought if Eric wasn't willing to assist me in my "little white lies", perhaps some of my friends might be willing to. So I asked them, and they were more than willing to help me out. Stage one of my plan was in motion, but something was missing. Sure a great job history is good but the piece de resistance was a degree. The next stage that I was about to set in motion some might consider unethical, while some might find it a brilliant solution.
posted by Conundrum of My Mind at 1/30/2006 11:40:00 AM
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